Work ethic, deviance, and cougars – oh my!

Over the last month, I’ve had the ultimate experience of interacting within an interesting subculture which has really laid down some really sharp demarkifications between Generation X (my generation) and Generation Y – that I find, personally, extraordinarily frustrating but equally interesting.

So, first, let me clarify the generational periods – because there is some overlap and some debate about where each begins and where each ends.  When I talk about Generation X, I’m using the general criterion of birth between 1961-1981 – loosely.  Generation Y, on the other hand, covers (semi-officially) the mid-1970s to the mid-1990s.  Generations are typically 25.2 years (for those of us in the U.S.) – but, as you can see, there’s a great deal of overlap between these two.  So, for my purposes, we are going to let that grey area go away…and consider Gen X 1961-1981 and Gen Y become 1981-1995.  In other words, I think the greatest differences in these two generations took place somewhere *outside* of those gray areas – almost a pre-early 80’s v. post-early 80’s.  The gray areas being a transitional period where the generational differences are not as severe or defined.

Before I go further – a few caveats – there are always “exceptions to the rule” – and this isn’t any different.  I know Gen Y members who are not necessarily like this (at least in my presence), or whom I can not speak to how marked the difference is.  These are mostly friends of my kids – so, they are better “editted” when they are around me…or, I am not as readily able to discern there Y-isms, simply because I’ve seen them grow up and are used to that trait from that particular person.  And, of course, there are always going to be those Y’s who simply don’t seem to belong in their own generation (just like individuals in other generations).

The second caveat – Gen X has grown up….so, we (generally) do have very different world views from people who are still trying to figure out what/who they are (Gen Y).  This, in and of itself, can be a major factor in the cross-generational phenomena.  I remember being a late teen (18, 19), and remember my early to mid-twenties.  I also distinctly remember thinking that I had it all figured out.  I’ve cross the chasm of “it all figured out” at this point in my life – from the “definitely have ….” to “accept I never will have…”  But, I definitely was not there in my late teens and early to mid twenties.  Still, there are days when I sit in class and wonder if I was like this – and feel complete pity for anyone in a different generation that I came across during those years if that is the case.  Also, with age comes the possibility for greater self-understanding.  Read that carefully – I didn’t say self-understanding comes with age…..only the possibility of self understanding comes with age.  The rest is up to the individual.

I have only started composing the “list of differences” from my own personal experience over the past month.  I’m sure this will change and update over the next few years.  So without further ado….let’s do a little vignette exploration of Gen Y.

I think high on my list is of major differences is the work ethic. 

While there does appear to be Gen Y’ers who have it – there seems to be a shockingly high number of Gen Y’ers who don’t.   Recently, I participated in the following conversation with a Gen Y’er during a “group quiz” (which is an interesting phenomena in and of itself that probably needs explored since I don’t recall “group quizes” in college 10 or 15 years ago.

Me:  I’m just not positive about this answer…maybe it should be “C” instead of “A”

Y:  Well, you can put that answer down, too.

Me:  Really?  If that’s the case, why don’t we just put down ALL the answers and we will be sure to get it right. (and, yes, I was giggling when I said this)

Y:  No, just put down your answer and then initial it.  He [the professor] lets you do that – I’ve taken this class before.

Now, what stands out to me in this conversation is that, in my group, the Y’ers literally look at me for the correct answer when the question is posted.  They’ve freely admitted to not reading any of the material, one of them recently told me that she would read the chapters the day before the test.  So, internally, I was shocked that the “Y” I was having the conversation with had taken the class before and STILL wasn’t reading or studying.  I would think, if you did so poorly in a class that you had to retake it, you may want to change what you were doing to increase your chance of success.

[In case you think this was an isolated event - let me assure you, it wasn't.  This was the most notable of conversations I've had about the topic, but, I've heard & participated in MANY discussions that were similar, not reading, not studying, not doing homework...and COMPLETELY SHOCKED when the Y does poorly on the exams.  To further illustrate my point - in the above class, the AVERAGE score for the first exam was 64% - that would be a D- in letter grades, with *multiple* scores of 24% - yes, 24%!!!  which is approximately the same percentage one would get walking off the street with no knowledge on the topic at all.  It wasn't that hard - but, you did have to know the material well enough to apply it.]

Next up?  Deviance. 

More specifically, the desire to give the illusion of deviance.  I’m not talking about deviance that is elevated to a criminal level.  This is something that I really do not have (and could not have) any personal knowledge about through my interactions with the y’ers.  Yes, there is some criminal deviance that I’m fairly certain about (this certainty is a result of mannerism observations, nothing prove-able) - but, I’ve not witnessed nor directly discussed criminal deviance with any of them.  Frankly, their criminal deviance holds absolutely no interest to me – and, for me, it’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” thing – I’m not asking, and I really don’t want to be told about it.

I find it striking that Y’ers seem to be so “in your face” about deviance.  Some days, I wonder if they would all be better suited by taking out giant billboards along side the road proclaiming their deviance – and then I realize that there is no need because some of them are so *attached* to being deviant that they advertise it without the expense of giant billboards.  Look, you may not like this, but, ALL of us are deviant in some way.  What I’ve found most interesting isn’t necessarily the deviance itself – I think part of that is age related (after all 18-25 year olds are most likely to be criminally deviant…so, it would stand to reason that there is a higher level of deviance in general in this age group – potentially it’s just a side-effect of figuring out who & what one is – because that is not a generation specific thing – only age specific).  And, frankly, a little deviance always makes things much more interesting.  There are sociological theories that proclaim deviance is necessary for a society to function properly.   For example, in one of my classes, there is a male who has what I can only describe as a basak – which doesn’t really have a good/specific translation into English.  But, I find myself distracted by it because I know that it has some meaning and am seriously (naturally) interested in the meaning.  So, some deviance does make life much more interesting. 

What I mean by “in your face” deviance is this:  There seems to be a significant percentage of Y’ers  that want everyone around them to perceive them as really deviant – even though it’s clear they are obviously not *that* deviant.  It sort of reminds me of the great apes beating their chests at one another.  Again, this may not be a Gen Y thing.  I have friends who, at that age, were terribly interested in letting everyone know that they were bigger/badder and much more deviant than everyone else (like a badge of honor) – even though, in some instances, it couldn’t have been further from the truth.  The term that comes to mind is a little crude, but, has to do with a contest of male bodily functions.  For this particular topic, I will leave the vignette alone.  I certainly wouldn’t want to offend any of them with an example using one of them.  Let’s just say it’s been highly interesting attempting to cut through the chest pounding bull…. to find the “real” within some of them.

Cougars, Pumas, and interpersonal communication

(saving “the best” for last) The last area I want to touch on today is interpersonal communication.  Now, I haven’t quite figured out if this was generational or if it a sign of the times we are living in.  I think there is a little bit of both at play.  Let’s first set up the cultural aspect of this.  With the advent of official terminology describing older women/much younger men relationships (or rather, “nicknames” for those women), and the heightened “status” of the phenomena (i.e. several Hollywood elite have brought this into the mainstream attention), there is an increased awareness of older women who choose to “chase” younger men.  After doing a little research, I’ve found that, generally, “cougars” are women 40+ who are dating or actively seeking men who are significantly younger than them;  “Pumas”, on the other hand, would generally fit my age group of women who are actively seeking men who are significantly younger than them.  Those of you who read me with any frequency probably see where this is going.  If you don’t yet….it will be clear in a moment.

So, I am surrounded, 3 days a week, with males that are significantly younger than I am.  To be frank, most of them are not at all interesting to me, and I can’t even imagine spending time outside of class with them.  I’m not being stuck up when I say this – there are ALOT of people that I’ve met during my life that I really have no interest in dealing with outside of that situation.  On the other hand, I have friends (male and female) who span 4 generations….so, for me, talking to and/or befriending a younger male (Gen Y) isn’t a big deal and certainly doesn’t mean that I’m “hunting” for one.  A cougar or puma, I am not.  But, that does not mean that I don’t find some of them interesting – or at least entertaining – and I’ve been known to <gasp> *talk* to them.  I’ve befriended a few – and attempted to befriend a few more.  Here’s the thing….I’ve realized that I have to be exceedingly careful when communicating with the males in Gen Y.  What I’ve found is that they are more likely to think that my action of talking to them implies much more than what is intended or real.  In other words, they are much more likely to think that an older female talking to them is a more-than-friendly action which signifies much more than it actually does.

In fairness, this could also be due to what I consider a language sloppiness that is like a festering wound for the past *several* generations.  People, in general, are not as careful about their words as what is warranted if one considered that words are *powerful* symbols.  As such, they shouldn’t be used casually or with reckless regard for meaning.  I’m fairly cautious with what I say and how I say it.  I’ve spent the last several years explaining to one of my children that she doesn’t have to read between the lines with me.  I say *exactly* what I mean to say – she has to pay attention to what words I’m using (and their meanings), but, reading between the lines is unwise.  So, this could be a difference between my feelings on symbology and the pervasive feeling of “insignificance” that most people associate with symbols (which include language).

So, to be fair, this could be a difference arising from my use of language as compared to other people’s use of language.  Each of us have a different set of schemas that we use to define our worlds – so, it could be that I’ve met a group of males that have schemas which lead them to read between the lines – heavily – adding meanings that do not belong, and reading between imaginary lines that simply are not there.

With all that said….I’ve actually wondered if I should preface every statement to a male Gen Y’er with “I’m not hitting on you”. 

Seriously.

***Continued until next time***

D