Shattering Icy Illusions

Sometimes, you just want to be in the familiar surroundings of home.  That’s exactly where I found myself yesterday morning – longing for home.  So, after a physically & emotionally draining week away, I determinedly checked out of the hotel, stopped for some gas (despite my general policy of *not* buying gas in that area of the state – it’s always more than $0.25 more expensive than anywhere else on my commute), and hurled myself head first into a journey which I never expected.

As soon as I merged onto the interstate, I knew I was in for a long drive.  It wasn’t pure ice – but, it definitely wasn’t good, either.  I thought about stopping right then.  To what end?  There was no way to turn around.  The next exit was miles away.  I couldn’t back down the onramp (that was a definite option in my mind, but, there were vehicles behind me).  I felt like I was probably just being too cautious, and started to speed up to pace the other vehicles on the road – at a whooping 25 MPH.  I focused on relaxing my neck and shoulders – they were uncomfortably tense.  Quick calculations told me that I would be home in about 3 hours – if I was able to average at least 25 MPH the entire way.  I hoped the roads would improve rapidly, but, knew that I could handle 3 hours.

Half an hour into the journey, I realized that I had cut off the circulation to my fingers due to my death grip on the steering wheel.  Traffic had slowed from our uber-fast clip of 25 to between 10 and 15 MPH – and I was desperately hoping that I would be able to keep my car on the sheet of ice that had replaced the packed snow from before.  Not that I *wanted* to be on the sheet of ice – but, it beat that alternative of joining the other cars in the graveyard formerly called “ditches”.  I knew this road well – I knew where it was completely exposed to cross winds…and I knew that exitting was ill advised even when it was possible.  Actually, there is only one exit during the first push of the journey – and it just takes you to a long highway that wouldn’t help if you were in trouble.

I Thought it was Global Warming…these ice plates aren’t melting!

As the conditions persisted – stable if not leaning towards worse – I knew that I either needed to find somewhere to get off the ice OR my car would find somewhere off the ice without my assistance.  The graveyard loomed.  There weren’t many places where my car would have found “off the ice” conditions where it wouldn’t have also found some like-kinds that had the same idea.  Basically, anywhere we would have found ourselves off the road, we would have had a close encounter with another vehicle sans driver.

I knew I was eventually coming up on the first place I could get off the ice safely, and decided to make the move.  I eased the car over, hoping that she didn’t slide too far finding the ditch before the exit.  The entrance into the rest area guaranteed that the car would slow down – either by driver or as the drivetrain fell out.  “Bumpy” doesn’t quite capture that condition.  It was more like deep potholes on mud roads in reverse.  And, instead of mud, they were constructed by pristine packed snow that made these great jagged miniature ice mountains.  Once I navigated that in my very low profile car, I found the carcass of a semi to my left – with what looked like a bomb-blast opening in the rear passenger side of the trailer.  Curious.  As a distraction, I let my mind wander into the realm of “what could have caused that?”  The mess that was the rest area pulled me out of that.  I found what looked like it would be the clearest spot to park.  As I pulled in, I noticed that the loose snow on the exit side of the rest area had been formed into deep ruts – and knew I was stuck there.  My car was far too low to clear the huge piles of snow around the tire tracks.  I accepted that in my mind without much hesitation.  I did not have any intention of driving on the ice plates again, so, merging back on to the interstate was really the least of my concern.

I called a family member to let him know that I was stopping.  I didn’t know what I was going to do later, but, right then, I just needed to stop.  I watched the traffic crawl.  More semis pulled into the rest area….and cars…and SUV’s.  The rest area was as full as it could be – particularly with only half of it being plowed.  The workers pounded the ice on the sidewalk with picks, attempting to make walking safe.  Then, the brought out the snow blower for other areas.  I’m sure this wasn’t a concern (they told me when I pulled in that a plow was going to be there soon to plow out the rest of the parking and entrance/exit), but, the snow blower made the parking area worse – thick with heavy but loose snow.  Ice is bad to drive on….loose snow is easy to get stuck in.

Wanted:  A Knight in Shining Armor

After an hour, I realized I still didn’t have any idea of what I was going to do.  I was painfully close to civilization – about 1.8 miles down the road there was another exit that had hotels, shopping, food.  Why didn’t I hang in there for a few more miles?  I beat myself up mentally for a few minutes – until I recognized how counter productive it was.  Who do you call when you need help?  That’s tricky.  It had only been about a week before that I had told someone I trusted he would rescue me if I was ever in need.  On the other hand, I had cried out for comfort just a few days before to that same person…with no response.  I may be really good at reading people….but, I can be wrong and doubt had crept into my mind the night before, and apparently took up residence.

I realized I couldn’t live with the consequences of calling anyone I cared about to come help me.  I’ve driven on Iowa winter roads for many years – I’ve never experienced roads like that.  And, I couldn’t bring myself to ask anyone to do it for me.  That realization, along with the realization from the previous night about that person combined with my feeling of utter helplessness and my body’s weakness from the week’s events hit me all at once.  I cried.  I generally don’t do that.  I don’t find that crying is ever all that useful – it makes your eyes puffy, your head hurt, and never actually *solves* anything.   It’s self-indulgent.  And, if I’m going to be self-indulgent, there are far more pleasurable ways to do that.  I felt the tears freeze as they rolled down my face.  My eyelashes were freezing together from the moisture, but, the tears kept flowing.

The Great Escape (plan)

After what felt like hours but was actually only a few mintues, I pulled myself back together and started working on a plan to “escape” the rest area without driving on the interstate.  A helicopter would have seriously come in hand right then.  <sigh>  I figured I could probably run the 1.8 miles in around 15 minutes…so, I may be able to get down the interstate to the next exit without frost bite – or at least without frost bite so bad I would lose anything important.  I wasn’t really *dressed* for running with my full length wool coat and boots (wit da fur), but, I figured that would only slow me down a little bit.  On the other hand, running down the side of an icy interstate sounded like a not-so-sound idea.  If a car (or semi) slid off the road into me, I would be so deep in the snow, it would be next spring before they found my perfectly ice-preserved body.  Not to mention that I would definitely not be running that far with any supplies.  If I were to get part way there and have any physical issues, I would definitely die from exposure.  That’s not quite how I envisioned my death.

Saving the hopeless & Ring Tones

I could call the highway patrol to come save the “stupidly hopeless”.  I honestly don’t know how they deal with all the dumb people who shouldn’t be driving on bad roads.  I thank them for it because I seriously wouldn’t have the patience.  It was an idea, but, only as a last resort.  I could call a tow truck – but, there was a towing ban, so, I doubted that would do any good.  So, I sat and watched traffic some more.  And thought about the past week.  I thought about ring tones and wondered how I could have missed something as important as I must have missed with that person.  I also realized that I was so glad that people didn’t call my phone while I was with them.  Some of my ring tones are really for me – and not for the person to whom I’ve attached that ring tone to.  I giggled a little bit as I thought about how I would explain a person’s ring tone to them if they were to find it out.  I don’t know how to explain it to anyone…I choose ring tones for people that are illustrative of that person’s nature.  Some would be harder to explain that others.  Some are fun (Mike’s is the intro of “Yeah” by Usher – which I always thought about when he would tell me he was on his way to “P-Town, peace up” *giggle)…but, some are quite heavy/serious, and if a person didn’t understand what the reasoning was, they may find their own ring tone sort of…..troubling.

There’s nothing quite like forced down time to make one contemplate many different topics.  Not that ANY of that was doing any good insofar as hatching a plan to get me out of the rest area…but, it was time that I obviously needed (or why would the universe so kindly have forced me into having that time??).  I simply let the plethora of thoughts and memories from the past week roll aimlessly through my mind.  “Brain Dump” – except not in the writing form.  Sometimes, it’s better that way.  Most of the dump will remain unwritten.

I was pulled back to reality when I realized that people were really cruising through the rest area – they were at “full speed” (about 25 MPH) as they zoomed past me…making it through the thick, deep loose snow to park on the exit side of the rest area.  That was a good idea, but, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to get enough speed from my car’s location to make it through the mush.  Just then, I realized I really was one of the hopelessly stupid that was going to have to call the Iowa Highway Patrol for rescue.  I went into the rest area building and called the toll free number (I did try *55, but, my phone didn’t like that number and wouldn’t connect).  This wonderful lady answered the line, and walked me through what I needed to do.  She was FANTASTIC.  The highway patrol was busy rescuing other hopelessly stupid people who actually crashed, so, I wasn’t really a priority BUT she told me I could call a tow truck to get me out of there.  Handy note:  If you are in Iowa and pull off the road because of road conditions, you can still get towed as long as you aren’t in the ditch or on the side of the road.  I guess the rest area was an okay choice (except it wasn’t…more on that in a moment).  She also gave me the numbers to a couple towing companies.  Thank you, lady at the Iowa Highway Patrol!  She was a gem.

The knight with the steely white horse and a winch

The first place I called, Ankeny Towing, was able to come out and get me.  He told me he would try to get to me within an hour, and since I had been at the rest area for many hours by this point, an hour more didn’t seem that bad.  My phone was dying, and I had already sucked every bit of charge out of my laptop.  So, I knew the hour would be one of quiet reflection and people watching.  Yes, even in rest areas, there are interesting people to watch – even if they are just driving by on the interstate.  The traffic was moving slow enough, I could see people conversing in their vehicles and get a pretty good look at their body language.  So, that kept me busy for about 40 minutes of my wait.  Then, there was this truck with a trailer that pulled over at the rest area.  As they were pulling out, they didn’t have enough speed and got stuck in the snow.  Now, I know they didn’t think it was funny….but, they were really rude to one of the rest area workers so I thought it was kind of funny that they were stuck.  Sometimes karma is a swift creature.  One guy popped out of the passenger side of the truck, up into the bed, and started bouncing up and down – as if his weight was going to be enough to get them unstuck.  I nearly laughed out loud – but didn’t. While they were using their fantastic trouble shooting skills, my knight in tow truck armor appeared and started hooking up my car.  Within a few minutes, a knight in semi-tow truck armor appeared to help one of the semi’s…and about 8 cars lined up behind them.  The other knight came over and asked me what I was thinking pulling into a rest area.  I told him I was thinking better that than the ditch.  He laughed and said “Didn’t anyone ever tell you never to pull into a rest area when the roads are like this?”  No one ever has.  But, apparently, in some circles, it’s a known-fact that they don’t plow the rest areas clear through when the roads are bad.  Now I know – it’s good information to have. (Not that it would have stopped me, given the same situation – I still think IT was better than the ditch, particularly since IT had restrooms…I haven’t seen those in ditches before).

A knight and his true calling

I popped into the cab of my knight’s tow truck, and warmed up while he finished hooking up my car.  My dad and I had spoken and he assured me that if I could get to a certain location, the roads were much better and I would be able to get the rest of the way home on my own.  I saw the light at the end of the cold tunnel.  The driver told me to “pray” and we headed through the piles of loose snow to get out of the rest area, back onto the interstate.  A few miles later, I realized that my phone had fallen out of my pocket as I got into his cab at the rest area.  (Yes, HOPELESSLY STUPID).  I know.  My knight offered to actually make the trip BACK to the rest area (which entailed going past, taking the next exit, and then driving back into the rest area) and see if he could help me find it.  Neither of us were hopeful.  There was that tow truck and ALOT of cars behind us….not to mention that finding my tiny phone in all that snow seemed sort of like finding a needle in a haystack.  A most-likely shattered needle.  I honestly could have kissed him when he offered.  It seems ridiculous to offer to do that for a phone.  But, that phone is really a highly portable computer – not to mention that being on the roads as they were WITHOUT a phone of any kind seriously freaks me out.  As we made the journey back to the rest area, I spotted 10 new vehicles in the ditches.  The roads just weren’t getting any better.

My knight told me he was going to pull as close to where he was before as possible.  He pulled up, stopped, I hopped out and there it was….my phone – right there by my feet.  I reached down and pulled it out of the snow….expecting to pull pieces out.  Amazingly, it was completely intact!  A little snowy and slightly wet, but, completely intact!  AND still working.  Wow.  Both of us were completely shocked.  I thanked him profusely, and off we went again – towards the safe spot my dad had told me to get to.

As we drove, I realized that there would have been no possibility my car and I would have made it.  The interstates were really bad – mostly plated ice.  There were accidents everywhere.  My car is light and agile – but, light and agile on ice is NOT a desireable trait.  We chatted and I learned alot about my knight in tow truck armor.  Seriously nice guy.  We talked about college, science labs, math, and football.  I like finding out about people, and he was talkative.  It was a nice way to pass the time as we drove and watched people drive like idiots, right into the ditch.

Eventually, that leg of my journey ended.  I climbed back behind my driver’s wheel, and braced myself for the unknown of the rest of the trip.  It was eventless, thankfully.  My body was at it’s limit, so, eventless was welcome.  The roads were significantly better the rest of the way home.  Funny how the highway was MUCH better than the interstate – even out in the middle of nowhere.

When I pulled into my driveway, I considered kissing the ground.  I unloaded my car, grabbed my bags…and braced myself for the attack as I walked into the door…..

from a little golden brown sheagle….who desperately missed me and was sure that I needed a slobber bath.

Right then, I realized I had even missed that.